Did I mention my wife is hypo?
I’ve realised that I’ve come this far without mentioning a medical condition that Sue has: Hypothyroidism.
Basically this means that her thyroid level is too low. Amongst the symptoms of this are:
- being very suseptible to cold - she feels the cold terribly.
- forgetfulness
- continual fatigue
- weight problems
- low sex drive
Hang on, did I say low sex drive?? Yes, that’s right - she does suffer from low sex drive and has done for a number of years. She recently started medication for hypothyroidism but it doesn’t seem to have made much difference as yet.
So, how come we get to have so much sex?
Well, up until about 2 years ago we had sex only about once a week, sometimes maybe once a fortnight, and sometimes we might go for a month or so without having sex. It was always good when we had it; it’s just that we didn’t have it very often.
At the time I don’t think Sue realised that this was a problem for me. We sort of drifted into a pattern of infrequent but high quality sex and it became ‘normal’. So she didn’t think anything of it. But it certainly was a problem for me. I longed for much more frequent sex. So I wrote her one of the heart-to-heart letters that we occasionally send each other and explained my problem.
So from that point onwards she did her best to take more interest in sex. I don’t quite know how she did it, but I think the lack of sex drive was a mental thing rather than a physical thing. And with a bit of mental adjustment she was able to make herself take more interest in sex. Perhaps she will write more about this at some stage as she can probably explain better than I can.
Until finally we ended up where we are now. I’ve touched on this already in How did we get here.
Marriage is an equal partnership and I don’t think the position we’re in now it is down to either one of us particularly. I have tried to do my bit as far as I can, and Sue has certainly done her bit by turning things around in her mind and using her ‘mental muscle’ to overcome any difficulties she’s had.
The condition does still cause her a lot of problems, particularly the fatigue, feeling cold all the time, battling to keep her weight down, and she does suffer from stress and anxiety at times, but to her enormous credit she hasn’t let it affect our relationship or our sex life. It really is amazing what you can achieve with determination and a positive attitude.
Of course, I am fully aware of how fortunate I am that Sue is the way she is. And I do love her so very, very much.
2 Comments:
Dear Ed,
I am glad that my mantra - you know that “I’m cold - can I put the heating on” as you wander around in shirt sleeves - which actually makes me feel colder - doesn’t drive you too nuts - does that mean that I can put that ultra thick duvet on the bed now please?
Seriously though, I would like to comment further on this but - its way past my bed time - when I am in a more lucid state then perhaps I could bore your readers with a “Sue’s eye view”?
I really do love you.
Your very own ice maiden.
Sue: Monday, December 20, 2004 11:10:40 PM
You both are the best. I think it is great how much you love each other… Amy and I are much like this and it is refreshing to know that there are other couples out there enjoying marriage as much as we do…
Ben: Tuesday, December 21, 2004 4:13:13 PM
